DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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