"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
