How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
