I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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