Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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