hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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