We're facebook friends in real life
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
