Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
do nipples grow back?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize