I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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