wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
one might say we're banned from that church
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
