So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
