he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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