tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize