Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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