i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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