I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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