porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
