This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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