god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
