Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
