You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
