She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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