I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
