did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
