Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
