Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
