I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
