i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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