I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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