So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
