I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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