He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
