Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize