You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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