turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I sprained my soul last night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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