I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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