This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
