I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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