that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
