pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
