i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's blow job season.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
