This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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