if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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