bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
