Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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