Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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