I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
