Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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