New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
