But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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