I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
