I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
