YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
