I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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