Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
