I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Your dad touched me again.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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