Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
