Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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