Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
