we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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