I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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