butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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