Someone shit on the floor
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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