So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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