i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
