Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Come share oat with me in your robe
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize